


Faceless

by E350tb



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Body Horror, Depression, Gen, Maybe? Depending on your perspective, Self-Hatred, creepy imagery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:36:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27699065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/E350tb/pseuds/E350tb
Summary: In a dark bathroom, Connie contemplates her life.
Comments: 10
Kudos: 17





	Faceless

**Author's Note:**

> The main reason this is explicit is because of the illustration. Otherwise this could have been M, but... eh, I wanted to share the pic.

Under the flickering light of the dorm bathroom, Connie finds herself staring into the mirror, her whole body plain for all to see.

Not far away, on a coffee table in the common room, there’s a sheet of paper marked with a C+, with a short and sharp note saying ‘needs improvement.’ It’s the second such mark she’s gotten at Jayhawk, and the words of the prof echo in her head; ‘not bad, perfectly acceptable, don’t worry about it.’

After being ridden for two decades by her parents, after move after move and school after school, after the busy days of cram school, after sword practice and other planets, here she is.  _Perfectly acceptable._

She’s _meant_ to be remarkable. She has to be. She has to live up to Pearl’s praise, to Steven’s awe, to her mother’s expectations. If she is not, she is a fraud.

She closes her mouth; it seals. She should not speak lies, should not tell people she’ll get into politics or diplomacy. She won’t with C+ grades. Best to stay quiet. Best not to speak about what she clearly doesn’t know.

She inhales through her nose, and it smooths out, flattening. She should never have followed the scent of adventure. It got her hopes up. It led her to disappointment.

She closes her eyes, and the eyelids melt into skin. She shouldn’t gaze up at her ambitions among the stars. She should have stayed grounded. She should have recognised what she really was.

Connie stares at the smooth, blank face she perceives in the mirror, planted atop a featureless, doll-like body. She’s not remarkable. She’s not talented. She’s not amazing. She isn’t even one of the crowd.

She’s nobody.

She’s been nobody since the war ended.

Everything that defined Connie Maheswaran ended when she came back from Homeworld. All that remains is a faceless, pointless nobody who thinks she’s worth something.

She doesn’t know how long she stares into that mirror, but it’s long enough that the apparition of a smooth, featureless visage feels real. Maybe some magic garbage has happened, and it actually is. She can’t find it in herself to care.

Her phone vibrates next to the sink; _Steven._ She leaves it, turning around and walking to the door.

She can’t talk to Steven tonight.

She’s sure he wouldn’t want to talk to a _nobody_ , anyway.


End file.
